Without Her

 I cannot gauge the depth of someone’s love for another, only my own. Yet in my heart of hearts I so believe that none have ever loved more than I have loved my sweet Cheryl. Certainly, I have never loved, or cared, or felt the level of devotion for any other person as I have for her. Notwithstanding my parents , siblings, children and grandchildren; it is not the same. When Tom Cruise told Renee Zellweger, “You complete me” he echoed the exact sentiments of my heart toward Cheryl. I thought I had loved women in this world, I have felt strong affection for more than one over the years, but none have completed me, in every sense of the word, as Cheryl.

She was my closest companion, my best friend, my confidante and the sweetest love I have ever known. Our twenty-seven years together wove us into a tight- knit bond that will last an eternity. She waits for me and I eagerly desire to join her again. My heart aches for her gentle touch, her soft-spoken words of encouragement, her generous spirit, her open affection for those she loves still, and her sweet presence in the midst of chaos. I did not realize how utterly reliant I was on her affection for me and how dependent I was on her strength in our interaction together. Oh, she did complete me, in every sense of the word.

I do not think I truly understood how much I loved her, until the instant that I knew that she was gone forever. I am a rational man, a sensible man, not given to excitement, but I felt as if a force had been removed from my universe. A major element had been fractured that held me together, that kept me “between the curbs of life”

My sense of loss is profound, my compass is broken, my soul-mate is gone, I have no where to look but up. I have no where to trust but in a merciful God to lead me from this malaise to a better place where I can regain my sense of self-worth. I can not express my complete loss of purpose without her by my side. I love my family dearly and I know they are trying to be there for me, but the gap they try to fill is immense. Only my heavenly father can heal the open wound in my heart.

I pray for God’s grace to lead me in search of the “Great Hope” we have through His son, and to teach me to hang on to that hope for eternity.

 

 

 

 

My Sweet Cheryl

Cheryl Lee Connor Warbritton

February 23, 1950 – August 6, 2020

 

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakesphere

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.” (Act II, scene ii)

 

             “I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.”                  (Act IV, scene i)

 

Requiem to my Sweet Cheryl

 

I watched her leave this world today,

I watched her life just slip away,

She struggled hard, her life to keep,

The cancerous spread was just too deep.

 

She begged for help I could not provide,

She fought the pain, as I cried inside,

If only I could have been the one,

To suffer for her, till she was gone.

 

The ache that dwells within my heart,

Has caused a wound that will not part,

It’s broken, shattered, vastly torn,

And ne’r shall mend till I, you mourn

 

Merciful God in heaven above

I pray she’s sheltered in Your love,

I watched her leave this world today,

I watched her life just slip away.